Hello My Name Is…

Hello My Name Is…

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The Internet is Down

The Internet is down. Damn. What was it we did before the Internet? I could listen to some music, I guess. Wait, no. All my music files are streamed from the cloud. Well, there’s always some tv. Oops, out of luck again. Remember bragging to all your friends about how you were a “cable cutter”? Living life free of the cable tv conglomerates? Finding all your tv satisfaction through streamed content via Netflix and Hulu? Yeah, I remember that, too, and now our hubris has come back to bite us.

So no tv, no music, what else? A board game? Nope, all the games we play now are through apps on the phone linked to other players all over the globe through…the Internet. Sigh.

So finally I settle on writing down my frustrations of being suddenly ripped from present day and thrown back to 1994, without even the warm tones of a dialup modem to comfort me. If ever I get Internet again, I’ll post this to a website, where it will be lost amongst the billions of other articles forced onto the web every day. For now, though, I’ll enjoy having the insight all to myself. A readership of one. But since I’m the only one in the house right now, I think this counts as complete market saturation. So I’ve got that going for me.

Where is the cure for the common cold???

Sitting here stuffy-headed, wishing my nose was no longer attached to the rest of me, I have to wonder where the cure for the common cold is. And flying cars. I’m pretty sure I was promised flying cars by now.